


Animal Friends for Snow White

by Blueberryshortcake



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Animals like Felix, Felix is a terrible roommate, Gen, No animals get hurt in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 14:59:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14239800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueberryshortcake/pseuds/Blueberryshortcake
Summary: Locus and Felix live together. Locus expected a bad roommate. He didn’t expect the menagerie.





	Animal Friends for Snow White

It’s not just money Felix likes.

“…Where did that come from?”

Sharing space with Felix when they weren’t doing jobs was never exactly ideal.

And it wasn’t because of the loud music, the reality shows, the fact that he would leave the tv on when he wasn’t even there, that he finished milk and put the carton back in the fridge, or even the string of strangers brought home from clubs and discotheques (his word).

All that he expected on the ‘off season’ as Felix had put it. Rent was tight, and they were used to close quarters with each other. It had made sense.

What he didn’t expect was the stray dogs and feral cats.

…And that racoon one time.

“Oh, Nimrod. Yeah, followed me home.”

The mangey orange cat bumped his head against Felix’s arm as he passed by for coffee.

“But why is it in the apartment?” Locus pressed. There was a no pet rule–not that he expected something as banal as apartment rules to make Felix pause, but still.

“Followed me home,” Felix repeated. “Jeez, Sam, what’s so hard to understand?” He rolled his eyes as if it was Locus being the unreasonable one. Felix took a gulp of coffee, leaning against the kitchen counter (now covered in paw marks, he had just cleaned that last night). ‘Nimrod’ continued to happily scent mark Felix. Felix reached over and idly scratched his ear.

During the war at one point they had been stationed at a human outpost. A stray dog had attached itself to Felix. Felix called it Dipshit (But it became known as Dippy). He loved Felix. Trotted beside him on patrol. Sat at his feet during meals. It wasn’t that Felix took care of him. He wasn’t his… pet exactly. Sometimes Felix would throw him scraps, and he would pat him, but the dog was expected to find his own square meals (the unit easily took care of that). It didn’t matter how much someone else fed him though, Dippy loved Felix. Felix seemed nonplussed about it, except for bragging purposes that the dog loved him best.

He was not attached.

Except one day one of the guys in the unit was yelling at Dippy for pissing on his gear. Looked like he might try to rub his nose in it when Felix appeared, wrenched his wrist back, looked him directly in the eyes and said: “Don’t fucking touch my dog.”

It was an intimidating look that slid into an easy Issac Gates smile, “Your own fault for leaving your shit lying around asshole,” Everyone laughed it off. Except the guy Felix told off. He looked at Felix differently after that. And no one tried to discipline Dippy again.

The dog ended up left behind.

“Aren’t you worried about Dippy? I hate leaving him all alone,” One of the guys said. He had been known to give a good portion of food to the stray.

“Nah, he knows how to take care of himself,” Felix replied, unbothered.

“Don’t worry, last I saw him he was playing by the orphanage. Apparently he’s gonna be their new guard dog,” Another guy laughed. “He always did like going out on patrol.”

Locus saw the self-satisfied smile right before Felix put his helmet back on.

Locus had thought Dippy was a one off.

When they settled. When Siris brought them together again. When they started having to rent in the city, he learned that, no. It wasn’t a one off at all.

“Mrew,” Nimrod demanded pawing at Felix’s arm.

“Cat’s don’t drink coffee, moron,” He pulled his cup away, and looked at Locus. “Are you fucking analysing me again?”

“No,” Locus denied and moved to the fridge.

“Hand me the ham while you’re in there.”

He tossed the packet over while pulling out out the milk.

Felix put down his coffee, pushing the cat away from it when it tried to dip it’s head in. “That’s mine.”

“Just leave the carton on the table if it’s empty,” Locus grumbled throwing the empty milk into the recycling. Every single time. Unfortunate. He’d skip coffee then.

Felix rolled his eyes throwing the ham on some bread. He took a huge bite and this time, when Nimrod tried to swipe the sandwich from him, he tore off a piece of meat and handed it over. “Little shit,” he fed it a few more pieces and finished his sandwich. Rubbed the cat’s ears.

“It probably has fleas,” Locus finally said.

“What?”

“The cat, it probably has fleas.”

Felix glanced at Nimrod as if he had just noticed him for the first time.

“I care why?”

“It’s your cat,” Locus ground out. “I’m not taking care of it.”

“Neither am I,” Felix held up his hands in a whoa gesture. “And it’s not my cat. He followed me home.”

“Just like the pitbull?”

“Asshat? Yeah. He followed me around and then went home to the junkyard. Idiot was lost.”

“The siamese?”

“Loudmouth was looking for… pussy,” Felix stuck out his tongue. “The alley out back was the perfect spot. He moved on, probably has a few litters now, what a slut.”

“And the racoon?” Locus gave him a dead eyed stare.

“Trash Lord Lexington wanted to eat garbage. You didn’t take it out and left the window open. It’s on you.”

“You let him sleep with you!” Locus shouted.

Felix’s face scrunched, trying to figure out Locus’ angle. Meanwhile Nimrod had crawled on Felix’s shoulders and hung off him. God the cat had the same expression as Felix.

It suddenly occurred to Locus that he was right about Dippy and the rest of them.

They weren’t his pets.

They were…just… similar.

All the ratty, torn up, dirty, grubby animals that took to Felix. Felix was the same as them. A stray that believed in survival of the fittest. Felix wasn’t babying them. He didn’t want a dependant.

But he allied with them.

 _“We don’t fight with Partners, Locus, we work with them, feed them, and do the job with them, even if they’re assholes,”_ Felix had once growled at him when a former ally had made a few too many comments on his scars. Locus had taken that particular lesson to heart. Felix didn’t say a lot of things that made sense to Locus, but when he did it always struck a deep chord in him.

Probably, feral cats and stray dogs were the only friends Felix really considered. They didn’t have expectations of him, and he didn’t have any of them.

Felix leaned over and opened the window. They were on the second floor, but a tree grew up against the building. Nimrod sniffed the air, crawled off Felix’s arms and left. “Problem solved,” Felix smirked.

“Until the next one,” Locus countered.

Felix snorted, “Yeah. I’m a fucking Disney Princess, aren’t I?”


End file.
